Send Your Kids Outside if You Want Some Peace and Quiet→

Children staying indoors and not knowing what to do with themselves is a new phenomenon. It's new because parents no longer establish expectations of their children based on what children and adults need.

What do adults need? They need peace and quiet, and time away from their children, so they can get their daily tasks done and take a break now and then.

It's a perfectly reasonable need.

What do children need? Children need to learn how to entertain themselves outdoors, rain or shine, without adult supervision. They need fresh air and sunshine too.

“Why do so many Americans say they want their children to watch less TV, yet continue to expand the opportunities for them to watch it? ”

— Richard Louv

If your children are inside giving you a hard time, why don't you send them outside? They'll survive. Tell them to get dressed and go outside until you call them back indoors. 

If they insist on coming back in without permission, then lock the doors so they can't return until you say they can.

The first week will be hellish. Your children may whine, cry, wail, and God knows what else. But soon they'll start to play. They'll invent games on their own, they'll climb trees, they'll make mud pies, and they'll do all sorts of things they wouldn't do if you let them stay indoors.

You'll call them in at the regular hour, and they'll want to continue playing.

It sounds divine, doesn't it?

It's called having a normal childhood. Living outdoors in their free time is what children have always done. The indoor obsession with technology and the lazy behavior that follows is unhealthy and abnormal. 

It's against everything that childhood stands for: adventure, joy, laughter, exploration, fun, learning, and socializing.

As your children use their imaginations to figure out what to do with their time, they're learning how to become resourceful too. 

For example. one of my favorite things is to go into my kitchen, find absolutely nothing to cook and invent a new meal that I've never made before. It's not my favorite thing to do, really. But I do love it when my children think they will have nothing good to eat for dinner, and then they come to the table with disbelief.

"Where did you get this?" said they. 

"In the cupboard, said I."

"But there was nothing to eat," said they.

"You didn't look hard enough, said I."

I learned how to be a resourceful cook when I was a young woman, because there was a time when I was living overseas and money wasn't plentiful. The cupboards often seemed bare, so I had to learn how to make something out of nothing.

Your children need to learn how to be resourceful because there will be times when life’s cupboards seem bare, so to speak.

If they don't know how to figure a way out of a difficult situation, they'll be lost.

Learning to become resourceful happens when you have nothing—or you think you have nothing. You have to wrack your brains to figure out how to make something out of nothing. 

“There’s nothing to do; I’m so bored.”

— Discontent Child

Like when you put your children outdoors with nothing but some water and a snack. At first, they won't know what to do with themselves. That's when the moaning and groaning will set in. They'll call you a mean mother and all sorts of awful things.

You'll be inside warm and cozy, and you'll feel guilty as can be. But don't. What you're doing for them is in their best interest.

Once they realize you mean business, they'll begin to find things to do outdoors. And this is one way they will learn how to become resourceful and to engage in life.

Another option would be to set a kitchen timer outdoors. You can give your children a trial run by setting the timer for 20 minutes. When it goes off, they can come inside. You will slowly work your way up to two hours per day. 

At some point, you won't even need it anymore because they'll be having so much fun. 

This plan of ours will work much better if you get rid of the technology in the home. By the way, it's a given they are not allowed to take any technology outdoors, right?!

“The woods were my Ritalin. Nature calmed me, focused me, and yet excited my senses.”

— Richard Louv

Unplug them inside, and they'll play a lot better outside. Keep them plugged in, and you'll have whiney kids forever. Technology interferes with your child's ability to learn how to entertain himself, which is why you want to get it out of your children's sight.

Lastly, once you get past the two-week point, you should find life has suddenly become very blissful. Your children will know how to occupy themselves indoors and outdoors, and you'll have some peace and quiet in your home.

Grab a cup of tea and enjoy it. No guilt allowed. 

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As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated. She also provides you with the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Is Online Learning Really as Good as They Say?

The number of public school students who learn online has grown exponentially during the past decade. Private businesses like K-12 have been contracted by the government to provide an education for these virtual students.

Now with the Corona Virus in full bloom, the virtual world is bustling with young children sitting in front of computers, instead of classrooms. Bill Gates must be pleased. So must Mike Milken.

It's a major coup on the American people who are pumping their tax dollars into the hands of these large "educational" conglomerates, but that's another story. 

The Question

The question to ask now is, is virtual learning the right way to go in light of this crisis, and if not, what is an alternative that's within your average parent's reach?

 While holding that thought, it's always wise to remember that just because everyone is doing something doesn't make it right. There is ample evidence now that virtual schools provide a sub-par education.

Ineffective Way to Learn

One need not look very far to find the evidence. Consider this: 50.1% of virtual high school students graduate within four years compared with 84% of high school students nationally, according to the National Education Policy Center at the University of Colorado Boulder.

Putting aside the low educational standards and the bleeding of the taxpayer's money, let's look at the other disadvantages to the virtual schools that too many parents fail to take into consideration.

Social Development

1) A lack of proper social development is a matter that should concern parents tremendously. To develop excellent social skills, one must socialize. To put your child in front of a computer all day, and expect that he'll grow up to be a socially adept person is wishful thinking. 

He won't. It's like confining a child to a playpen and expecting him to learn how to run.

Daniel Goleman first pointed out in the 1990s that emotional intelligence, which includes good social skills, is vitally important to a person's ability to do well in life. There have been many, many studies since which have confirmed his findings. 

Even if we had no studies, common sense would tell us this is true. 

Screen Addiction

2) Another oversight by parents is the idea that a child can study at a computer all day and not develop the habit of using the computer. What we do every day becomes our habits and forms who we are.

Children who spend time in front of computers for any purpose, even education, are at a far higher risk for developing video games and social media addictions later. 

If a child has a video game problem or a social media problem, do you think he or she will be out playing sports or engaged in social activities or reading books? 

What consequences will this have on his or her life? They'll have more health problems from a lack of physical activity, and they'll do less well in life from a lack of well-developed social skills. 

The Virtual Teacher

3) What about the role the teacher plays in the child's learning process? A teacher inspires a student to love what he or she is teaching; a good teacher motivates a child to work harder; a good teacher builds a relationship with a child that influences the child to become better at what he does.

A computer screen with a teacher staring at your from the other end of nowhere is simply no replacement for the real thing any more than the image of you looking back in the mirror is you. Both have a real person behind them, but there is only one real person in the room. 

Will the child be inspired to emulate his virtual teacher in the way he does his real-life teacher?

Health Problems

4) Sitting in front of a computer all day causes health problems. Adults suffer all sorts of ailments from sitting in front of a computer and not getting enough exercise such as musculoskeletal injuries, headaches, poor vision, inability to focus, obesity, cardiovascular illnesses, waning memories, and so forth.

Why do we think there are no health risks for our children when they are still developing their minds and bodies and in even more need of physical activity than we are?

Myopia

Children who use the computer are at higher risk for developing myopia (nearsightedness), according to researchers. In the past few decades, as computer use has become more and more common for children, so has the necessity for reading glasses. (Too early reading will cause this too.)

Effects on Posture

Posture is also a problem because sitting at the computer causes us to slouch forward and tilt our heads back, which can lead to bad posture, headaches, and muscle strain.

Obesity

Obesity amongst children has become a significant concern amongst pediatricians because of the physical and psychological health problems that accompany it like heart disease, musculoskeletal issues, and a lack of self-esteem, to name a few. 

The Alternative

Rather than using the virtual schools, riddled with so many unwanted side-effects, why don't you homeschool your children with real books instead? 

You may have the belief that you aren't qualified to teach your child, so take a moment to reflect on the fact that you were the first teacher to your child, and you were successful. You taught him how to walk, talk, get dressed, tie his shoe, and so forth. 

When you are a homeschooling parent, instead of tying shoes, he is learning math. It's that simple. There is no magic to it. We have this idea that only "accredited" teachers can teach, but there isn't a proposition more ludicrous than this. Anyone can teach. You are always teaching your children whether you're aware of it or not. 

It's a mindset, that's all it is. Homeschooling parents have confidence in their ability to teach their children. 

You will need a curriculum, you will need to understand what to do, you will need to schedule your day, but the actual teaching is not rocket science. Anyone can teach a first grader to read. 

If you're wondering what you'll do with your child all day, remember this: his childhood will be over before you know it. Instead of panicking about what to do, enjoy this time. Read to him, take him to the park, help him with his schoolwork, bake with him, do art projects with him.

The world has never been short of lovely things to do.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Homeschooling with a Toddler Tugging at Your Skirt

Some parents are afraid to homeschool when they have a newborn or toddler, and other parents homeschool without thinking twice about it. 

Life is messy, but it's okay, is a helpful mindset to have when you have young children under the age of two. 

While it may be challenging to imagine homeschooling with a toddler if you've never homeschooled before, the reality is that it's manageable.

Before a child reaches age two, you'll probably work at a slower pace with your homeschooled children than you did previously unless you've trained your children to work well independently, or you can hire help.

Homeschoolers should be adept at self-study and able to work on their own; this is a large part of the homeschooling education. 

As your youngest child grows older and becomes more independent, make sure that he (she) doesn't get into the habit of expecting you by his side night and day. If you can foster his independence, you should be fine. 

It's when parents don't wean their child off of thinking the parent is there to serve them that the parent's then feel overwhelmed. They get less done because they are still at the 'beck and call' of the youngest child who will naturally become very demanding.

Assuming you’re not daunted by the idea of homeschooling with a toddler tugging at your skirt, here are a few strategies you can use to keep him occupied and lessen the chance of being interrupted while you're teaching your older children.

1) Have a special box with toys that only come out during lesson time. This box is his (her) special box that he looks forward to playing with. It should keep him occupied for a long time.

2) Make sure you give him one-on-one time before you begin teaching the others and give him some attention on the breaks.

3) After the age of three, teach him not to interrupt you. When he does, just put him back and remind him that you're teaching. 

As a general rule of thumb, a child past the age of three should be able to entertain himself for about an hour. I can attest to this first-hand because my children played for hours when they were young without interruption.

4) If necessary, hang a sign up that lets him know he cannot interrupt you until you take it down. You can hang a red sheet of construction paper on the door for "don't interrupt" and a green sheet that tells him you're available. 

If worse comes to worst, set a timer and put him in his room for a minute or two while you stand by. The point is to train him not to interrupt you as early as possible.

If the time-out sounds severe, consider this: how much more troubling will it be for him to see you annoyed and irritated every time he interrupts you? 

He's too young to understand why you're annoyed, but he's not too young to know that you're unhappy with him.

Why get into the habit with him when it is so easy to avoid? 

5) The most crucial key is to keep technology out of sight. There is no greater de-motivator of exploration and wonder than the television or smartphone.

Your children will not learn how to entertain themselves in you allow them to engage in screen use, and you will find yourself in a constant battle with them over it, which only gets worse as they grow older.

Spare yourself and your child from going down this fast road to misery. 

The facts are that many homeschoolers have large families with infants and toddlers, but that doesn't deter them from homeschooling. If anything, the more, the merrier.

You can do it if you develop the mindset that it's all right if every day doesn't go as planned, and that some chaos is par for the course when you have a child under the age of two.

Try to embrace these years with open arms instead of resistance and resentment, because they'll be over before you know it, and you'll wish you could have them back.

Are you thinking of homeschooling, but don't think you can do it with a toddler in tow?

Muster up your courage, get a plan in place, and homeschool as if you have no alternative because your child will get a better education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.

Why You Should Say No to Extra-Curricular Activities

Do you like having too much to do; running here and there with no time to catch your breath?

I don't either, yet, isn't this what we do to our children? We over-schedule them.

We run Tommy to soccer practice, Anna to ballet, Joseph to swimming lessons, and then Tommy to his reading tutor, Anna to her riding lessons, and Joseph to his playgroup.

All this after everything the kids have to do, including chores and school / homeschool work. 

It becomes a full day for everyone; you're exhausted, your kids are tired, and yet the extra-curricular activities continue because that's what everyone does today.

We over schedule our children and fail to recognize the implications of making extra-curricular activities a priority in our family's life.

Let's look at the consequences of hyper-scheduling our kids.

• Stress levels increase for everyone

• No one has leisure time to pursue the simple pleasures in life

• Family time is compromised

• Skipped Family Meals 

• The energy expenditure leaves everyone exhausted

It's stressful to always be on the go. Our minds and our bodies crave and need downtime when we can relax and experience life at a slower pace. Children's needs aren't any different.

Why Leisure Time Matters More

Hobbies

Children need leisure time to use their creative minds to learn how to entertain themselves with hobbies like needlepoint, knitting, collecting stamps, or building model airplanes. 

Social Skills

Leisure time also allows children to go outdoors and play with the neighborhood kids or visit a friend, both of which are crucial to developing excellent social skills. 

And sometimes, like us, a child just wants to lie down and read a book. 

Read a Book

There are a lot of reasons why children don't read today, but is one of them because they haven't had enough leisure time to develop the habit of reading?

Family Time

When each child has different extra-curricular activities, there's little time for shared activities as a family. 

If you're rushing to get Anna to ballet, you have no time for an afternoon reading with your children or taking them to the park in the afternoon. 

Your family life begins to take place around extra-curricular activities; in other words, family life is not a priority for your family; extra-curricular activities are.

Lack of Energy

Some children need more downtime than others. The over-scheduling of their day can result in fatigue and a loss of enthusiasm. 

Skipped Family Meals

Often the extra-curricular activities take place in the evenings leaving no one home to cook or serve a family meal. Consequently, the family eats with dad while you rush Tommy to soccer practice. 

Putting It into Perspective

What's more important at the end of the day?

When your children are grown and gone, will it be that Tommy was a good soccer player or that your child was a responsible and active member of your family and that your family shared a close bond?

The latter is vital to everyone's well-being especially your children. Instead of over-scheduling them, let them each take one class, don't let it interfere with meal times or weekend activities, and make sure your children have enough leisure time to figure out what they enjoy doing, what they're good at, and ultimately, who they are. 

Let them unwind, gather their thoughts, settle their minds, and have enough time to replenish their energy and be ready to get up the next day and do it again.

With enthusiasm, not dread. 

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader, free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an elite education at home.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education. She has two successfully homeschooled children in college.