4 Keys to Raise a Decent Child in Indecent Times

Societal influences can make it easier or more difficult to raise a decent child. In today’s climate, it’s not always that easy, but there are some things you can do to ensure a better outcome.

When our children are young, we want to train them to do the right thing, so they develop the right habits in childhood and learn to make the right choices.

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

— Mark Twain

It begins with little things such as learning to pick up after themselves, doing chores before they play, being considerate of other people's needs, and having good manners.

Role Models

Good role models in a child’s life are essential too. If the parents treat each other courteously, if they are respectful to their family and friends, if they are honest and helpful with others, their children are more likely to follow suit.

Discipline

There is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too, as no child is born perfect no matter how good his or her role models may be.

Good parents can produce bad children; there are no guarantees that children turn out well.

You have a higher chance of having them grow up to be good people, however, if you understand how to train them in the ways of respect and obedience. 

Public School

Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now the norms, and the teachers have very little authority when it comes to correcting the children's behavior. 

This is telling in and of itself. Children sent to school for eight hours a day where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them are at a disadvantage to children who aren't.

In a home or private schools, adults have authority over the children and can discipline them as needed. The right training in childhood is essential to raising a well-mannered, happy child.

Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 60's cultural revolution when sound parenting principles were abandoned in favor of unproven new theories.

Modern Inconveniences

Today, we can add to the problem modern inconveniences such as vulgar films, ribald music, video games, social media, and inappropriate television programs, and you have a recipe for disappointment with your children.

Negative influences will unravel any good work you've done to raise your children well, which is why we need to be diligent with the environments we let influence our children.

The Ancient Greeks knew that negative influences in a child's life would help mold their character, and any educator since who has studied the classics or has an ounce of common sense, understands this too.

The rest of society has forgotten it, though, making us negligent in our duty to raise our children according to time-tested principles that work. 

A Dishonest Trend

Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren are dishonest according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.

Even without the statistics, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that we are no longer an honest society. 

My son recently took a statistics exam online only to receive an email from the teacher the following day, announcing that it was clear some of the students had cheated on the exam. The teacher had tracked their activity to see if they changed tabs to find the answers during the exam.

My son said the exam was easy, too, making it an even more pathetic situation. 

College students cheating on an easy exam?

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

What happened to the concept of hard work and honesty? In this case, they didn't even have to study hard, but they still felt the need to cheat. 

Cheating is a habit for many children today.

When the lines between honesty and dishonesty become so blurred that cheating on exams becomes all too common, we have a serious problem. Cheaters are cheaters. Liars are liars. School doesn't end; real life begin, and these students suddenly turn honest again. 

They have become dishonest people. Their characters have formed this way because they are raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of truth, goodness, and beauty; once so honored in the West.

In a Nutshell

Raise your children well, keep them out of public school, screen multi-media use when they are young (or eliminate it!), avoid inappropriate music, and surround them with natural beauty and good people.

If you do, you'll have accomplished something that is becoming more and more uncommon today; you’ll have raised decent children. That is, children who grow up with the ability to discern truth from falsehood, beauty from ugliness, and good from bad, and they’ll choose right more times than wrong.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Raise an intelligent and decent child by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy summer program and learn how to give your child an excellent education at home.

Join our waiting list for Elizabeth’s online course: Raise Your Child Well to Live a Life He Loves.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

What Do Covid-19 Parents Understand that Homeschoolers Miss?

John Taylor Gatto extensively researched the history of modern education, and he spent his last years writing and lecturing about the inherent harm in the public school system. 

He concluded that we need to find better alternatives to the public education model and that children need to grow up spending more time with their families and elders in the real world if they are going to thrive.

Fast forward to the Covid-19 pandemic when the majority of America's children were unable to attend public school.

I’m sorry John wasn’t here to witness it.

The Lion’s Den

At first, though, it seemed like we thrust the children into the corporate world's lion's den with the sudden move to online learning, which is itself harmful.

Except that something unexpected began to happen. 

Many parents, concerned that their children were sitting in front of computers all day, began to reject online learning as a viable education option during the Covid-19 crisis. 

When you come to understand that the profit-making corporate world is behind the virtual schools—not educators—you will realize what a total coup d'etat on public education these brilliant businessmen have orchestrated through the online alternatives to the brick and mortar schools.

The efficacy of online "learning" is grossly misrepresented by fantastic marketing strategies paid for by the conglomerates like K-12 virtual schools, and these campaigns rein in a lot of children. 

According to an investigative study conducted by the San Jose Mercury News, "fewer than half of the students who start the online high schools earn diplomas, and almost none of them are qualified to attend the state's public universities."

Almost none of them!

If you compare a child's learning experience online versus his experience in the presence of a real teacher and real books, does this news surprise you?

My two university children are stuck with online learning now, and they, plus so many others like them, have complained about the inefficiency of online learning. 

And so have the teachers. 

The students are not learning as much as they had in the classroom and what little they do learn, they are learning much of by themselves. Teacher instruction is inadequate, and the teachers have no real office hours.

Are Elementary Children Different?

If this is the college students' experience, can we safely assume that elementary children are experiencing the same?

It's highly unlikely they aren’t, nor do the statistics prove it is any different. 

This is why it isn't easy to understand how so many parents, who were homeschooling prior to the pandemic, can believe that online learning is a sound option. 

That they do, Gatto would not be happy about. 

What online learning does is to give the parents a State hand to hold onto. Since many parents are fearful of homeschooling without having their hand held by the state, it makes perfect sense that so many homeschooling parents would opt-in to these virtual academies.

Parents or the Children

But whose needs do the academies serve: the parents or the children?

Please understand that it's virtually impossible to give your child a stellar education if your children follow the public school system curriculum, especially if it's online.

The hard truth is that homeschooling requires courage and confidence. It demands a leap of faith in your ability to succeed at teaching your own, and you can succeed.

To succeed in giving your children an outstanding education, you must be brave enough to buck the system. This is the point of homeschooling: to remove your child from the below-average education system and give your child a first-rate education at home. 

Low Standards of Modern Education

When we accept the low standards for our children that online learning and public school deliver, we miss the point of homeschooling. 

"A growing number of studies show a negative impact on student achievement when K-12 students move to online formats compared to their usual in-school experience," said June Ahn, an associate professor of learning sciences and research-practice partnerships at the University of California, Irvine's School of Education.

Ironically, while many home-bound Covid 19 parents see the problem with online learning and are opting out of it, many alleged homeschoolers have not. 

Isn't it time to muster up the courage and say "No," to the misguided direction of modern schooling that John Taylor Gatto warned us about during the last precious years of his life?

Isn't it time we took our children's education into our own hands?

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Increase your child’s intelligence by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child an excellent education at home.

Join our waiting list for Elizabeth’s online course: Raise Your Child Well to Live a Life He Loves.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Reasons Why You Will Love Homeschooling and Never Look Back

Fear is the #1 reason that stops most parents from homeschooling.

Once you move beyond the fear, though, and decide to homeschool anyway because public school or online schools are no longer options for you, a whole new world emerges.

Most homeschooling parents then wonder why they waited so long to embrace the teaching of their own.

Here are four homeschooling perks that will make you fall in love with your new homeschooling lifestyle.

You Own Your Time

1. While the fear is that you'll lose your free time, what you don't realize is that you gain control over your time, you don't lose it. School no longer dictates what nights the kids need to be in bed early or when you can take your vacation or when your day ends and when it begins. These decisions are now yours to make.

If you have a family party to attend on a Sunday, you can stay as late as you like, maybe treat Monday like a Sunday and begin this particular week on a Tuesday instead. If you want to travel overseas for a vacation, but not pay prime rates for high season and deal with a deluge of other tourists, you can visit off-season and adjust your homeschool schedule to fit into your vacation time. 

Compound Perks

2. The compound perks that vacations offer is that you can turn any vacation into a homeschooling day of study. Think history, art, literature, and language arts. You are no longer restricted to the classroom for study, but travel can also become a hand's on way of learning.

If vacations are more than your budget can afford, weekly outings can fill the same role. 

As for your own free time, if you learn to manage your time and manage your children well, you should be able to replenish your energy reserves weekly. If you are going to homeschool, this is essential as the state of burn-out is real.

You avoid this by planning ahead and making sure you have enough time  to fill your reserves as needed. 

Many parents today are more overwhelmed because their children run them ragged with their constant demands on their time. Parents no longer know how to establish clear boundaries with their children.

To homeschool successfully, you have to get the management of your family under control first.

Homeschooling is a job, but it isn't one that should leave you feeling exhausted. On the contrary, it should feel rewarding and fulfilling to you. If it doesn't, then something needs tweaking. 

3. Another significant stress in life that the act of homeschooling eliminates immediately is the battle parents and children endure every day regarding getting to public school, readjusting to coming home from public school, and the homework fiasco. 

All the stress these demands bring into your life melt away just like that.

Gone. 

Regarding homework, parents who help with homework are homeschooling, so why not just homeschool without all the extra pressure that comes with having your children in school?

4. Your children do not get graded and slotted into arbitrary categories of excellent, above average, average, and below average. They don't get ranked with their peers and made to feel better than they are or worse because there is no average with homeschooling. 

They don't develop false limitations about their academic ability, but they learn to do well and to excel in their studies. If they don't, you don't move them on until they do. You are a private tutor to your child when you homeschool, so you know when he knows the material and when he doesn't know it.

It's that simple.

You might do reviews with him, but you never need to test or grade him. He is competing with himself, and he naturally learns to do his best work. Sometimes, this may require a discipline tactic or two, but he is being trained in your home school to be his very best, including the work he produces.

Grading, on the other hand, is for the classroom when a teacher has no idea where each of her 30 students is concerning what she has taught them. How can she be expected to know this without testing them?

And then come the grades with the boxes children get squeezed into that help to form their perception of who they are rather than who they can become. 

5. While your children may easily find friends in public school, you may not always approve of their friends, and you seldom know the family of their friends. If your child gets in with the wrong crowd, and there is no guarantee that he or she will not, you will watch your child be brought down by bad company, and there will be little you can do to stop it. 

With homeschooling, a prudent parent will choose good friends for their children, because the children are too young to know a good influence from a bad influence. When they get older, they'll have more discernment and be able to choose wisely for themselves.

As a homeschooling family, you'll make friends with other homeschooling families. You plan social events as a family, not as individuals.

Socializing as a family is the norm in so many other parts of the world, but in the West we've lost this habit that’s so vital to our family’s well-being. 

Homeschooling is a lifestyle that puts the family back at the center again and allows us the time to build stable families with members who enjoy each other's company and are loyal to one another. 

Many homeschooling parents have told me that they felt a distance grown between them and their children once the children entered school.

Have you noticed this too?

My own mother said this about all of her children, and she had seven. It's par for the course, this social distancing, and it's impossible to avoid when children spend eight hours in school and then two to four hours doing homework in the evenings.

Your children are not with you for a large part of the day, and you don't share a social circle. When families were tighter, there was less segregation by age and more intermixing of entire families.

This mixing brings shared experiences and fond memories, which are the stuff bonds are made of.

After having gone through the public school system myself, and after homeschooling my now-grown children, I can honestly say that putting my children into public school for their elementary or middle-school years was never a serious consideration, ever. 

The homeschooling lifestyle was too good.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Increase your child’s intelligence by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy summer program to learn how to give your child an excellent education at home.

Join our waiting list for Elizabeth’s online course: Raise Your Child Well to Live a Life He Loves.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.