Are There Times When a Child Should Not Read a Book?

As an activist for helping parents raise good readers, you may be surprised to know that there are times when I think it is wrong for a child to read a book.

You see, there is an etiquette to reading just like there is an etiquette to everything in life: there’s a time to read and a time not to read.

Fortunately, unlike table manners, there are only two reading rules your child needs to learn.

THE RULES

Rule #1.

Books should never come to the dinner table or any other table where food is present. When you eat, you eat; when you read, you read.

It is uncivil to read a book at the dinner table. Meal times are a time for pleasant conversations and showing an interest in what others have to say, which is virtually impossible to do while reading.

Out of respect for books, children (nor adults) should ever eat while reading. You don't want to soil the books with food. It’s also a bad habit to eat while reading because it can lead to unwanted weight gain.

Rule #2.

Children should not read at social gatherings.  

I’ve seen children plop themselves and their books in a central position to the other guests as if to holler, "Look, I have something better to do than talk to all of you!"

The accomplishment of raising a good reader, which a parent does deserves to feel proud of, never justifies antisocial behavior.

I’m sure I’m not the only adult who’s had conversations with kids that go something like this:

"Hi, sweety, how are you?"

Child looks up uninterestedly.

“Fine."

Child’s head goes back into book.

"What are you reading?"

"A book."

While it's fabulous, marvelous and awesome that he is reading, his manners leave a lot to be desired.

This sort of behavior is a red flag that the parents are failing to teach their child right from wrong in matters of lasting significance.

I am always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
— J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Books, under no conditions whatsoever, are never more important than a living, breathing human being who needs or deserves your attention, and the reading of books should never give license to uncivil behavior.

It's not that a child can't ever take a book with him when he’s away from home. He can. He can bring a book on an airplane, a long drive, the doctor's office or to any other place where he might have to sit quietly for a long time, but never to a party!

Politeness [is] a sign of dignity, not subservience.
— Theodore Roosevelt

WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?

Engaging in social activities can be uncomfortable and awkward for young children, especially if they're shy. Hiding their face in a book is one way to avoid the awkwardness.

But it's not the right way.

The right thing to do and the thing most beneficial for your child is to let him face his shyness by engaging in conversation with others. Children do not develop good social skills in a vacuum, they learn them by socializing. In other words, through practice.

As Daniel Goleman demonstrates in his ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence, good social skills–which are predicated upon good manners–are the basis for just about everything in life that will make a person happy: a successful marriage, good relationships with one's children, long-term friendships, and a successful career.

And Goleman's research proves that there are even times when a child should not read a book!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise brighter and more creative children.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

*****

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

One Tweak to Your Home Could Increase Your Child’s IQ

We can blame the failed public school system for its dumbed-down curriculum.

But we cannot blame it for the dumbing-down of our children’s minds that’s occurring in our own homes!

We are a part of the problem.

If you want to do something proactive to reverse the dumbing down of your children, it’s simple: throw out the television set (and all forms of screen-use for your kids). It will be one of the kindest things you can do for them.

At least get the screens out of sight until they are older.

Children need to be engaged in real life experiences and spend at least some of their time reading real books. Reading, by itself, will strengthen your children’s intellects.

What the Science Says

Psychologist, David F. Marks, believes that literacy levels directly affect our IQ scores based on his research. I agree with him based on common sense, no research needed.

Scientist have determined that we can increase our intelligence, and reading is one of the ways we can do. this.

Would our literacy rates increase if we all took our televisions outside and smashed them? Yes, I believe they would.

television.jpg

If demolishing the television leads to more reading, and more reading leads to higher levels of literacy, and higher levels of literacy leads to higher IQ’s; well, there you have it.

Therefore, unless you want to compete with the public schools for the dumbing-down of your children (and I know you don’t!), give your home a little tweak. Remove the trance-inducing screens and give your kids a book to read instead.

Another Option

Here’s another option for you: tell your children to grab their coats and shoes and go outside until dinner time. The key word is “tell”.

You are not giving your kids an option; you are commanding them to go outside. It’s not a mean thing to do; it’s actually kind. The outdoors will benefit your children and stimulate their imagination and creativity.

What’s mean is providing 70% of American children with a television in their rooms.

Wise are the parents who set boundaries for their children so the children can learn how to occupy themselves in ways that will serve them well in life.

Educational Programs

But there are educational programs on television, you say? It doesn’t matter. It’s the passive, mind-numbing act of watching television instead of the brain-developing activities that makes the difference,

The world is a fascinating place, but television’s youth today are not fascinated by it. They’re bored by real life. It’s not fast enough. It’s not exciting enough. It’s not crude, silly, or bloody enough.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
— William Blake

The truth is that the lives of real men and women are fascinating. You can observe them, you can read about them, and you can live a fascinating life yourself.

Nothing you watch on television will ever beat what happens in real life with its infinite supply of comedy and tragedy; it’s unknown mysteries and endless surprises.

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow stronger.
— W. B. Yeats

A dependence on screens, however, can obstruct us from seeing the wonder of our majestic world and the noble potential of the human being.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

So be kind to your children and throw out the television.

If you can’t throw it out, at least ban it to some obscure corner that’s safely out of their view.

If they don’t see it; they won’t think about it.

If it is in sight, watching television will compete with everything else your children do in their leisure time. If they don’t establish good habits when they are young, the television will always win their attention.

After they are a little older, when they’ve developed a reading habit, you can let them watch something once a week. A little weekly dose will safely stave off the “forbidden apple” syndrome, but make sure they have established a good reading habit first.

It’s all about the habits. The results are in the habits.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise brighter and more creative children.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

*****

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

How to Build the Pursuit of Excellence into Your Homeschool Plan

How to Build the Pursuit of Excellence into Your Homeschool Plan

Public school promotes mediocrity; as homeschoolers, we want our kids to excel.

Therefore, establishing concrete goals is a part of every successful homeschooler’s plan. And whatever educational goals you set, it is vital that you create the steps for your child to reach these goals.

Read More

3 Reasons Why American Schools Are So Violent

 Schools are the scene of far too much violence for a parent's comfort, and I would expect them to get worse if we move deeper into a recession. 

In 2022, as of November, there were already 68 school shootings, and the year is not over yet. There will be more. The year before Covid, in 2019, there were more mass shootings than days of the year.

People blame guns, but that's ridiculous. We don't blame knives when someone gets stabbed or poison when someone gets poisoned, so why do we blame guns when someone gets shot?

Guns don't pull the trigger; mentally-sick people do. 

The problem is not guns. We have always had guns in the US as a constitutional right to protect ourselves against a tyrannical government, but random mass shootings on such a scale are relatively new. 

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
— 2nd Amendment

What is wrong with Americans? 

Here are 3 facts to consider that may hold a key:

TOO EARLY EDUCATION

Children are put into school too early. We know there is a direct correlation between the absence of play in childhood and sociopathic behavior.

Children who go to early education centers are not engaged in enough play or the kind of play a child needs in his early years to foster humane qualities such as empathy.

Play allows us to develop alternatives to violence and despair; it helps us learn perseverance and gain optimism.
— Dr. Stuart Brown, Contemporary American Psychiatrist

Playtime outside has decreased by 71% in one generation in both the US and the UK, according to Dr. Brown..

MOTHERS ARE COMPELLED TO WORK

Too many mothers have no choice but to work, and young babies are left in daycares where strangers take care of them. How can the transmission of empathy occur when the child has is left by his mother in infancy?

This isn't to criticize working mothers, either; I was a working mother too. It is a criticism of a society that does not recognize the importance of a mother in her child's early life.

We use euphemisms such as "primary caregiver" to pretend handing our babies over to strangers is of no importance.

If babies could speak, they would clue us in on this societal delusion. No one can replace the tender love and care of a mother for her offspring.

MULTIMEDIA VIOLENCE

Our multimedia industry promotes violence. Jerry Mander published a book in 1978 titled, Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television. One of his arguments was that when we watch television, our minds cannot differentiate between reality and what we see on the screen.

When children watch violence in films, they become desensitized to violence.

Since the 1960s, we have known about the effects of violence on our hearts and minds. Why have we not curbed the violence in the media, especially for children? On the contrary, it has become even more pervasive in our lives.

It is so pervasive that when a bomb went off on a busy street in Istanbul in November of 2022, the Americans were unphased. I was there to witness it.

On the contrary, the Turks were devastated. Violence is a part of an American's daily life. I have never felt safe in America, but in Turkey, I have never felt unsafe, even while walking home late at night.

VIDEO GAMES

Video games are a national hazard to a child's mental health. Internet Gaming Disorder is now an entry in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Is this not enough to prove that our kids should not be gaming?

Grand Theft Auto is a game that involves prostitutes! The more violent acts you commit in the game, such as binding, gagging, torturing, and killing women, the more points you win.

What mentally-deranged individual came up with this idea? Leonard Sax points out, as have many studies, that playing games like this over and over again desensitizes our boys to violence, especially against women.

Talk about an easy way to breed misogynists. Geez.

There are other factors to consider with the rise in violence, too, such as the epidemic of narcissism, the breakdown of the American family, and economic disparity. Still, the above three are clearly factors in a society that has become “Rated R” for violence.

FINAL THOUGHTS

There is something fundamentally wrong with a people when their kids are no longer safe in school. Next year there will be a whole new set of statistics and more aggrieved parents who will bury their kids.

It's a sickening thought.

Do everything within your power to stay home with your kids when they are under the age of six (seven is even better), keep them off of technology, and don't enroll them in school.

If you think this sounds extreme, remember that it was the American way of life only 60 years ago.

And if you are able to keep them home during their school years, homeschool them. You CAN do it; millions already have.

 ☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

Are You Raising Literate Children?

Are You Raising Literate Children?

Who Are We Fooling?

We think of ourselves as a literate society, but the truth is that we’re fooling ourselves.

Just because we can read, doesn’t mean we can read. Just because we can write, does not mean we can write. Unless we are educating our kids to be readers of difficult books, and writers of persuasive essays which they are capable of doing, we are short-changing them.

Read More

6 Reasons to Limit Extra-Curricular Activities

6 Reasons to Limit Extra-Curricular Activities

Would you agree that we over-schedule our children?

Let's look at the consequences of hyper-scheduling our kids.

  • Everyone has higher stress levels

  • We don’t have time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, such as having a cup of tea together, reading a book, or going for a walk

  • Our family time is compromised by some of our kids being in classes in the evening

  • Too many of us can’t find time for family meals

  • Everyone is exhausted which leads to irritability and outbursts of temper

Read More

Why We Should NOT Teach Our Kids to Follow Their Passion

Why We Should NOT Teach Our Kids to Follow Their Passion

Teaching your children to follow their passion sounds promising, but when you reflect on the word passion, you realize it's a misnomer. We don’t actually want our children to follow their passions.

Read More

Should We Ban Trick-or-Treating?

I took my kids trick-or-treating on a few occasions, but the more I thought about the messages we were communicating to our kids, the more I began to think trick-or-treating might not be such a great idea.

Ironically, while growing up, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. What kid doesn't like candy? Having a free-for-all candy night with no adult supervision was the equivalent of kid Heaven.

But now, I stand on the side of those who think we should ban trick-or-treating.

#1 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

Letting our children trick-or-treat contradicts our position that sugar is bad for their teeth and bad for them. We limit the sugar our children eat all year, but one day a year we give them a free rein to eat as much sugar as they want.

Do you have any idea how much sugar they consume? The average kid consumes three cups of sugar on Halloween!

Eating Halloween candy is not limited to one night, either. For however long it takes them to get through their bag of candy, that's how many days they are filling their bodies with harmful amounts of sugar.

The gross amount of sugar consumption creates severe sugar spikes in our children's blood levels, leaving them feeling not so well.

Overeating candy comes with the underconsumption of wholesome foods, which only exacerbates the problem.

Allowing our children to trick or treat on Halloween and eat so much candy is not practicing what we preach, nor is it responsible parenting. I'm guilty too, but when the facts are on the table—wow.

I read that one dentist pays children $2.00 for every pound of Halloween candy they give him. While I can appreciate the intention behind this gesture, is it sending our kids the right message?

We buy the candy, the kids knock on our doors, we give them the candy, and then the kids sell it to the dentist.

How can turning our kids into greedy candy peddlers be a solution? Greed is the #1 problem in the world today, and we are all suffering because of it. We don't want to encourage greediness in our children, do we?

#2 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and we teach them that it isn't polite to ask people for things, yet, one night a year, we let our kids knock on the doors of strangers and ask them for candy.

One shameful moment for me as a kid happened one day on my way home from school. I had just turned twelve, and my best friend Bridget and I were famished after a long day sitting in classrooms.

At about 3:20 in the afternoon, as we were walking home with grumbling stomachs, we had this bright idea.

We could trick-or-treat!

We knocked on the door of an apartment near our school, and an elderly woman opened the door. Very surprised to see us, she asked, "Isn't it a little early, girls?" She gave us some candy anyway.

As an adult looking back, not just on that isolated incident but on the idea of knocking on a stranger's door and asking for candy, isn't this a contradiction?

We teach our kids not to speak to strangers and NEVER to take candy from a stranger, yet once a year, it is permissible. We teach them that it's not polite to ask for things, yet once a year, it is permitted.

#3 Reason to Ban Trick-or-Treating

But here's the crux of the matter: Halloween is a creepy holiday; it has gotten even creepier since the corporate world has taken it more seriously.

In my old neighborhood, a neighbor had gravestones on his front lawn and skeletons that moved and looked like they were coming out of graves. When we drove up the hill at night, my kids used to get scared because the scene looked so real.

So did I!

And that was a mild scene. My friend's neighbor in the town next to us would spend a fortune decorating his lawn until it looked like the scene out of a horror movie. I used to wonder what on earth that man was thinking.

Halloween is supposed to be for kids, not psychopaths.

I like the idea of carving pumpkins, but should we be wasting food like that? With so much starvation and deprivation in the world, it seems insensitive to waste pumpkins for a night of amusement.

For Halloween, about 22.2 million pumpkins go to waste! At your average price of $5.00 per pumpkin, that's 111,000,000 dollars of food that we waste. The average cost to feed one person per day in the US is supposed to be about $11.00 (seems very low); divided by 111, 000,000, we could feed 10 million people, roughly.

My god, that's shameful.

On second thought, we should ban Halloween.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

8 Facts Every Child Should Learn About the Most Sublime Creature on Earth

What creature is that you are probably wondering?

It is the whale.

We studied dinosaurs in the second grade, yet, dinosaurs pale in comparison to whales. While reading Moby Dick, I discovered a fascination for them because whales are truly sublime.

I’m now convinced that no child should complete childhood without learning about their amazing lives.

Here are 8 facts about whales that you can share with your child:

Fact 1: Whales Are the Largest Creature on Earth

Did you know that whales are the largest animal on Earth, even bigger than the T-Rex Dinosaur? The nine heaviest creatures in the world belong to the whale family. A blue whale weighs 200 tons, and when they give birth, their babies weigh three tons and gain 200 pounds per day!

Compare this to the largest elephant ever to exist (as far as we know), who weighed only 4 tons, and you begin to realize the magnitude of of whales. 

Fact 2: Whales Have the Largest Brains

The sperm whales have the largest brains of any animal, including man. Not only do they have the largest brains, but their brains contain a neocortex, like the human brain. The neocortex governs higher cognitive functions such as planning, memory, empathy, and language.

The sperm whale has a highly sophisticated language that is based on sound. They emit coded clicks at the speed of milliseconds and can emit these sounds at vast distances. 

Scientists today are trying to decode their language using artificial intelligence. Someone even wrote a book about real conversations with whales and how the lessons we learn from them can help us live more joyful lives.

As for his true brain, the whale, like all things that are mighty, wears a false brow to the common world.
— Moby Dick, Herman Melville

Fact 3: Whales Rely on Sound to See

Because most of the whale’s life is spent at the bottom of the ocean, they must rely on sound to see. Whales use click sounds to communicate which is called echolocation. Echolocation is when their sounds bounce off of an object and send back an echo to the whale that tells them where the object is. 

Fact 4: Whales are the loudest animals alive

They rely on click sounds to see, but these sounds can be as loud as 230 decibels making them the loudest animals on earth. In comparison, if you stood next to a jet engine, the engine's sound is about 150 decibels.

Whales are so loud that their clicking sounds can kill a man! 

Fact 5: Whales Can Hold Their Breath for 90 Minutes

Whales can live underwater for about 90 minutes because their bodies can store massive amounts of oxygen in their muscles. When whales surface to breathe, they breathe for about seven minutes before they go underwater again. 

Fact 6: Whales Have Complex Social Structures

Female whales live in multi-generational families. In contrast, the male whales live solitary lives and return to the females only during the mating season.

Whales will mourn the death of a loved one, and they will celebrate the birth of a calf, according to Shane Gero, a behavioral ecologist and founder of the Dominica Sperm Whale Project.

They have different dialects for each whale pod.

Fact 7: A Whale’s Excrement Is More Valuable than Gold!

Yes, it’s true. Whales eat large squid, and the indigestible parts of the squid are eventually excreted. These excretions float in the water for seven years, going through various changes, and can be washed up on shores in the form of what is known as ambergris

“It’s beyond comprehension how beautiful it is, It’s transformative. There’s a shimmering quality to it. It reflects light with its smell. It’s like an olfactory gemstone,” is how Mandy Aftel, a perfumer describes ambergris.

It can sell for anywhere from 10K to 100K, depending upon the size. 

In 2021, a group of Yemeni fishermen found 1.5 million dollars worth of ambergris in the floating carcass of a sperm whale!

Fact 8: Great Whales Are an Endangered Species

Sperm whales are the citizens of the ocean, and they are dying.

"Why are they dying?" asks Shane Gero.

And then he answers his own question: "It's us," he says. "All of us." 

The deluge of gargantuan shipping fleets bringing us our goods from all over the world are killing the greatest creature on earth.  Calves are born, but they are dying from accidents caused by large freighter ships.

In the 18th and 19th centuries, sperm whales were hunted for oil and spermiceti, but now they are killed because of our ignorance. It’s ironic that arguably the most intelligent animal on Earth is going extinct because of man’s stupidity, or greed.

Today, six out of 13 great whale species are considered endangered, including the sperm whale who was the subject of Melville’s masterpiece, Moby Dick.

Teach Your Children Well

Teach your children about the greatest creature on Earth when they are young, and you will have no problem getting them to read Moby Dick when they are older.

Moby Dick is the story of an obsessive pursuit for one albino sperm whale named Moby Dick by a man with a wretched heart called Ahab.

While it's not easy to read, it's a powerful and often humorous book with themes of human nature and human folly gracing the pages.

God help thee, old man, thy thoughts have created a creature in thee; and he whose intense thinking thus makes him a Prometheus; a vulture feeds upon that heart for ever; that vulture the very creature he creates.
— Moby Dick, Herman Melville

John Taylor Gatto used to have his sixth-grade students read Moby Dick.

Though I never asked him why out of all the great Western classics, he chose Moby Dick; my guess is because once you read it, you can successfully tackle any other work of great fiction.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA

Should “He” Still Be Taught in Grammar?

In Defense of Language

Defenders of language are opposed to the idea of gender-neutralizing language, as are those of us working in the field of traditional education.

And many, many others.

So I was not a little taken aback the other day when a friend told me that I should replace the pronoun "he" with "they" in my writing.

His concern was that people would think I was literally writing about boys rather than understanding "he" is a centuries-old pronoun that stands in place of an antecedent noun that could be of either sex.

Let’s take this sentence as an example: “If we teach a child to read too early, he may struggle to read well later.”

“He” stands in the place of “child,” who could be either a boy or a girl.

Surprised by my friend’s reasoning, I asked a couple of my grammarian friends if they had encountered this same concern. Maybe their being British had some bearing on my findings, but each emphatically said, "No!"

If you read Mr. Gwynne's Grammar, a best seller in England, you will find a section on the use of the pronoun "he." Mr. Gwynne makes a point of differentiating between “sex” and “gender,” the word “sex being a purely biological term and the word “gender” being a purely grammatical term.

The word to indicate whether someone is male or female is ‘sex,’ not ‘gender,’ which is purely a grammatical term.
— Mr. Gwynne

Basic Grammar

Assigning gender to a noun is woven into the structure of many languages, including the Romance languages. The gender of a noun will determine which form of an adjective or pronoun should accompany it.

For example, in Latin, “mensa” is a feminine noun that means "table.” To say " the beautiful table," we use the adjective’s feminine form of “beautiful” to agree with the feminine gender of “table,” hence, “mensa pulchra.”

French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian follow a similar structure.

As you can see, gender in language has nothing to do with an individual's biological or wishful sex regardless of claims to the contrary, although there is of course some overlap when human beings and animals of the female sex are being referred to.

As reason would have it, therefore, the correct use of the pronoun "he," to stand in place of a noun that could be of either sex, is not sexist but is grammatically correct.

I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time - for 40 years - and they’re started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory
— Jordan Peterson

Language Does Matter

Using language correctly does matter.

Our language is the means through which we understand ourselves and the world in which we live. When we start meddling with one of its basic units, we do so with potentially disastrous results, such as being confused about the biological difference of a man or a woman.

There's a sort of madness at play here.

My point is that if you are a homeschooling parent teaching your child English grammar, please teach him that "he" is a centuries-old pronoun and cannot be replaced with “they".

Instead, teach your child that “he” replaces the antecedent noun when the noun could be of either sex, and we cannot afford to lose him!

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA