3 Ways Homeschooled Kids Get Behind→

An idea that gets thrown around in the homeschooling community is that wherever your kids are is "exactly where they are meant to be". 

However, unless we are speaking philosophically about the nature of being, it isn't exactly true.

It's a useful concept to remember in moments when, for example, we just missed a plane to China, lost a lot of money in the stock market, or our two-year old destroyed our living room, but not when it comes to our children's education.

When it comes to our children's education, we need to be on top of our game, so we can help them get the most out of their prime learning years. 

Optimal Learning Windows

Children have windows of optimal learning, and when we miss these windows, we fail to optimize our child's learning potential.

For example, grammar is not a subject that we should teach a child who is 5 or 6, but if a child does not know his 8 parts of speech by the time he's 9 or 10, well, in my book, that's a little behind.

If your child is 10 years old and can't read, that's a little behind. 

This idea that we are "never behind" is empty rhetoric, and we should reject it. 

We can get our kids behind what they are capable of learning when we are not diligent homeschoolers. 

Here are 3 ways we hinder our children from reaching their full learning potential:

1. Using substandard Programs

If we are doing public-school-at-home or using a virtual, state-approved homeschool program, our children are not going to get the same quality of education they might get if we followed a more serious education model.

Why go to all the trouble of homeschooling and then teach our kids exactly what the state is teaching in school?

2. Failing to Plan

I'm not a natural planner, but I have learned over the years that having a solid plan in place increases our chances of reaching our goals, including our homeschooling goals. 

While planning is an essential part of reaching goals, the way we get there never precisely matches the way we planned to get there, but we still need to do our planning. If not, we could end up anywhere.

Aren't you more focused when you have a deadline to meet? What about when you have limited time to complete something? Think about how quickly you clean your house after hearing that an unexpected guest is coming!

A plan allows us to put the structure in place and create deadlines, so we have a greater chance of reaching our goals. If I only have from 9 - 1 to work with my kids, I’m going to stay a lot more focused than when I have no start or ending time.

“Action without planning is the cause of all failure. Action with planning is the cause of all success.”

— Brian Tracy

When we don't add structure our homeschooling days any little thing that comes up can distract us. And each distraction is one more thing that gets in the way of our kids moving ahead. 

3. A Misguided Attitude

I am guilty of calling homeschooling a lifestyle as much as the next person, but is it? A lifestyle is the style in which we live in the same way that we have a style in which we dress. Some people dress in expensive designer clothes, and others dress in second-hand clothes. Some people dress casually; others dress formally.

So yes, we have different homeschooling lifestyles, but regardless, we want to remember that first and foremost, homeschooling is a job.

While we aren’t heading off to the local school every morning as an employed teach might, we have chosen the path of being a self-employed teacher to our children.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

— C. S. Lewis

Of course, things will happen and throw us off schedule, but they should be the exception, not the norm.

Also, the "behind" we refer to is in relation to the public school objectives. But we want our goals for our kids to be higher; we want to help them maximize their best learning and work hard to give them the education they deserve.

Conclusion

When all is said and done, as long as you are using a sound curriculum, you understand what kids need to learn and how to teach them, your kids are listening to you and doing their work, and you are doing your very best, your kids will probably be ahead—not behind—and exactly where they should be!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Why I never Reached My Potential and How to Spare Your Kids the Same Fate→

John Taylor Gatto, a renowned educator and best-selling author, said that "schools were dangerous places for children." 

Having been educated through the public school system, I can say with certainty, as I’m sure you can too, that my best years of learning were wasted.

Not only were they wasted, but as a public-school student, I was exposed to all sorts of immoral behaviors and mediocre influences in my life.

It wasn't a great beginning. 

My Twelve-Year Jail Sentence

In my "twelve-year jail sentence," as Gatto likes to call it, I certainly never learned that a "preposition is a word which governs a noun or pronoun and connects it to anything else in the sentence or clause" (definition according to Mr. Gwynne, author of Gwynne's Grammar).

I memorized not a single piece of poetry, nor did I ever learn my own country’s history with any coherency, let alone other histories of the world.

(I did read a lot of classic books, but not in school. My father supplied me with those, and they were my saving grace.)

It would have been helpful to have learned the above subjects during those 12 wasted years and learned other subjects too, which are essential to living a good life.

For example, learning Aristotelean logic when I was young would have given me the ability to see through the kind of propaganda that flies in our faces every day and deceives us to believe in and do things we would not otherwise believe in or do.

“Modern propaganda is a consistent, enduring effort to create or shape events to influence the relations of the public to an enterprise, idea or group.”

— Edward Bernays (founder of modern propaganda and nephew of Sigmund Freud)

Having a better understanding of world history would have taught me that history repeats itself. I would have known back then to look to the past to understand where we have been, where we were then, and where we were headed.

The Six Purposes of Schooling

Fast forward many years later to my discovery of the six purposes of government schooling that John Taylor Gatto uncovers for us and guess who was livid?

I wasn’t alone.

Like many of us, I realized that I had been cheated of a real education, and there is nothing more infuriating than discovering that you have lost the best years for training your mind to a dumbed-down, nefarious government school program. 

I should also tell you of something else that happened to me when I was in public school which has been an impediment throughout my life. As a young kindergarten enrollee, I had developed a false belief that I was not very smart!

This may sound strange, but it happens to be fairly common for children who are almost a year younger than the oldest child in the classroom but expected to do the same level of work.

Unfortunately, beliefs we form from childhood experiences become like deep grooves in our minds, and it can take a lifetime to polish them out, which is why we need to consider carefully the way we are raising our children.

“School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned. I teach school and win awards doing it. I should know.”

— John Taylor Gatto

5 Reasons for Homeschooling

In this brief summary of my unfortunate government school years, did you notice that I just gave you five reasons why concerned parents elect to homeschool their children? If not, let me summarize them for you as it’s important to reflect on them:

1. Concerned parents want to give their children a real education where their children learn, at the very least, how to read well, write well, and speak well.

2. They want to give their children proper training in morality and what it means to be an ethical and civilized human being.

3. They want their children to understand that mediocrity is not good enough; they must learn to strive for excellence.

4. They don't want their children exposed to early sexual influences, drugs, and perverse ideologies.

5. They want their children to have self-confidence and as much self-knowledge as they can acquire during a well-spent youth.

These are the five most common reasons for homeschooling, but there are two more that are gaining momentum. Crime is a big problem in schools today, and many parents are not putting their kids into public school or are taking their children out of public school because of safety issues.

I mentioned this to a group of parents about 15 years ago, and one parent thought I was being extreme. But I wasn't. I was just on top of the statistics earlier than they were; now, I believe it is common knowledge that schools are not safe places for kids. 

We also have health concerns with the government schools now mandating a new drug for children that many parents feel is unsafe, despite the propaganda, because the ten or twelve years it takes to safely test a new drug is still in the future.

We have many new homeschoolers now because of the mandates which I find interesting.

Now I’ve given you seven reasons why concerned parents choose to homeschool. Here’s one more that seldom gets mentioned, but that I believe is the most important because it encompasses all the rest:

Your children were born with a God-given potential that they will realize throughout the course of their lives if, and only if, they’re given a fair chance.

If you want your children to reach their potentials, the best chance you have to help them is to intelligently homeschool your kids. Don’t let them waste their best years of learning in public school.

Educate your children well by doing it yourself or hiring competent tutors to teach your kids. One-on-one instruction is superior to class instruction which is why the aristocracy were always tutored.

What’s vital to remember is that an education tailored to one is the education of people who lead themselves, and may even lead others, as opposed to being led.

Let me conclude by saying this: living in a dumbed-down world is frightening. Dumbed-down people are easy to manipulate, and Americans may be the most manipulated people on this planet today.

Keep your kids out of public school and homeschool them so they can grow up to be leaders who are intelligent, ethical, critically thinking people.

Mediocrity will not do.

*****

To learn about John Taylor Gatto’s Six Purposes of Government Schooling, use this link.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life.

Become a Smart Homeschooler and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home using the Smart Homeschooler Academy Curriculum and teaching methods taught in the program. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed her own comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Reasons Why You May Feel Overwhelmed and 30 Ways to Fix It

As mothers, we tend to run ourselves ragged.

We forget that when we are exhausted and overwhelmed, we are less able to be present and in a good state of mind for those we love and who depend on us.

The truth is that we can only do so much as mothers; therefore, we do not want our children's memories of us to be that of a worn-out, exhausted parent because we are trying to do too much. To avoid this from happening, we need to organize our lives to eliminate the things that drain us unnecessarily and do more of the things that replenish us.

If you feel overwhelmed and worn out, it's a prudent time to take stock of your life and determine what is draining your energy.

Begin by asking yourself these five questions:

1. Have you taken on too much?

2. Are your extended family or friends draining your energy?

3. Are you and your husband at odd about things?

4. Are your children unruly?

5. Are you not taking the time to pursue your pre-motherhood interests?

What is it that is weighing you down? Sometimes it's a combination of things, but whatever is going on, you want to face it so you can determine how to break the cycle you're in and reclaim your life, restore your energy, and be present for your loved ones. 

While you are raising your family, and even beyond, you want to focus first on your marriage and make sure that it is solid.

Then look to relationships beyond your family and determine which ones require too much of your time and energy. you have difficult or extremely needy people in your life, you will need to reduce or even eliminate the time you spend with these people.

And then look at your children and make sure you have not gotten into negative patterns with them because it can be exhausting to have disobedient and disrespectful children to deal with every day. 

Remember the things you used to love to do before you had children. Maybe you loved to ride bikes or ride horses; maybe you had friends you went out to lunch with regularly; maybe you played a lot of tennis or went to music concerts; maybe you spent time reading or knitting. Whatever it is that you used to love doing, make the intention to bring some of it back into your world.

Just because you have children now doesn't mean your life has to be 100% devoted to them, 100% of the time.

The younger they are, the more they will need you, but as they get older you should be able to weave into your day more and more of the time you need to stay fresh and upbeat.

Also, you don't want your children to see you as someone who has no other interests besides them. Be someone who is interesting to them, so they are interested in you.

Find things to do that replenish energy and good spirit, and you will find you have more of yourself to give. 

Children pick up on our moods, and even though they can't intellectualize them, they do feel them. Engaging yourself in other pursuits a few times a week does not make them feel less loved.

If your child had a choice, he would tell you to go out and do something you enjoy if that means you will be more present and happier when you are together.

As we want our children to be of good cheer, they want the same of us. Our children want to feel secure in knowing that we are happy to be their parent.

For 30 ways to fix your overwhelm, download a free copy of 30 Things a Mother Can Do To Feel Cheerful.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.

For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, is where you want to start.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Focus on Becoming a Better Person and Being a Better Parent Will Naturally Follow

Children see, children do.

There’s a painful component to raising children that we tend to overlook: they turn out just like us. About the time our children hit the teens, for better or for worse, we find ourselves staring at ourselves.

Sure, there’ll be some variations on the theme, but our strengths and our weaknesses, they will inherit. Some of our children will get more of our bad qualities, some more of our good ones, sometimes it’s a mix; but pass them on, we do.

Which is why, if we are to be the best parent we can be, we need to begin by improving our characters.

Character Improvement

To improve our characters, we need to begin by determining our strengths and weaknesses. Then we can begin to tackle our weaknesses. Determining our character flaws requires honesty and self-reflection, which can be difficult for many of us.

Not everyone is willing to take a hard, honest look at themselves. And even when we do, sometimes we think we see what isn’t there. It can be tricky.

A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. –Mark Twain

Rather than try to analyze your character and risk the chance of deluding yourself, take a hard look at your behavior instead.

How Do You Behave?

If you’re someone who tends to threaten other drivers on the road, stop; chances are you may raise a raging maniac.

If you’re someone who likes to gossip, stop; chances are you’ll raise a trivial person who creates discord between others.

If you’re someone who likes to sit around watching television and playing on the computer, stop; chances are you’ll raise an unmotivated kid who doesn’t accomplish much.

If you’re someone who tells lies, stop; chances are you’ll raise a liar.

If you’re someone who thinks you’re better than everyone else, stop; chances are you’ll raise a narcissistic tyrant.

The world works better when its citizens are humble, patient, kind, and generous.

To borrow Kennedy’s magnificent line:

Ask not what others can do for you — ask what you can do for others.

Asking what you can do for others is at the heart of good character and at the heart of raising good children.

Homeschool the smart way by joining the Smart Homeschooler Academy to learn how to give your child the best of an elite education at home.

How to Raise a More Intelligent Child and an Excellent Reader—a free guide and book list with over 80+ carefully chosen titles.Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 17 years experience working in children’s education.

Using her unusual skill set, she has developed a comprehensive and unique understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to help parents get it right.

Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.